Why I Write First Drafts During the Super Bowl and When I Want to Avoid Chores

After I Facebook posted that I wrote 2800 words of a work in progress during the Super Bowl, I got a variety of public and private message comments. A few people thought I was a little nutty to forgo  beer, food, and four letter words just to get words down on paper (me nutty? okay, so, please tell me something I don't know already). Others remarked on what a disciplined genius I am (yeah, right). Others wanted to know how I could write with all that chaos going on. Here's the answer to that question...

I happen to be one of those people that write first drafts that come out like vomit - the great ideas are in there (the chunks), while the rest is a mush of cliche central, too many dialogue tags, overused descriptions, word repetition, corny or awkward sounding dialogue, plot holes you could drive a Humvee through - well, you get the picture...Eventually I concluded that some fortuitous times to write these early works of trash, which pretty much had to be reworked or blown sky high several hundred times before publication are on the following occasions...

1) Keeping my husband company while he watches something on TV that doesn't interest me.

2) Anytime I'm desperate to avoid doing housework.

3) When I know if I keep working for another half hour, my husband will do the grocery shopping for me.

4) After a glass of wine or a beer.

5) While sitting on a plane or in an airport restaurant.

6) Intermittently while cyber-stalking.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a serious writer. But when it comes to first drafts, whether there's complete silence or a football game happening or a YouTube video blaring on my son's computer, it doesn't much matter, my first drafts always come up and out with a splash. If you're one of those people who can sit in a room at a writing conference and compose a masterpiece in five minutes, all I can say is I'm happy for you (not so much) and you don't know what you're missing (enjoying a change of scenery and avoiding non-preferred activities while writing vomitoid drafts).